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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Grok Thyself and Know the Universe.

Well, Christmas is gone and past.  New stuff a plenty, including stuff to and from me.
I guess right now most people, most blogs, would be yammering on about New Year's Resolutions.  I'd hazard a guess that most of those Resolutions would cover one of 3 topics:
1) Lose weight.
2) Get fit.
3) [insert personality change here: listening more, stop procratinating, yadayadayada]
 I'm not making a New Year's Resolution.
I see no point.  If I'm going to do something, I'll do it, so what's a random day got to do with it?  I do have a couple ideas, though, for what I want my life to start to be.  I have couple ideas for enjoying my life more and making what I do worthwhile.
I want to start living more in the moment. Not for the future, not running from my past, not huddled under a blanket of the "present," but in the moment. Enjoy the cool breeze of summer, feel my emotions and let them run on their way, see with new eyes the little things I'm too busy or preoccupied to see, hear the life all around me, truly TASTE my food and love it, and in general stop trying to control the universe.  Living more in the moment involves two things that I've been afraid to do for years:  allowing myself to be out there enough to get hurt, and loosen control.  I can't control everything and I need to remember that.  To live in the moment is to grok everything around you.  Not in the "know it down to the minutest element" sense of grok, but in the "Let it be and cherish it" element.
Along the same lines, I need to learn to master my emotions.  Not control, not hide away behind a mask, master.  Allow them to flow without letting them impact the issue at hand.  Feel them without being overrun by them.  Let them be a part of me and yet apart from me.
Remove the clutter from my life.  Not just physical junk that takes up too much space, but emotional and mental clutter.
"Know thyself and to thine ownself be true." No clue where it came from, but it has a distinctly Martian and Buddhist flavor to it.  In order to grok and cherish all that's around me, I must first grok and cherish myself.

Look within yourself.  Look beyond that body you may not be comfortable with, look beyond that brain that overthinks everything, look beyond those emotions that blind you to yourself, and look at that little spark that is YOU.  Meditate/ pray/ think on this.  You may see this as extremely selfish, but I challenge you: how can you change or help others understand something you don't even grok?  You cannot teach what you do not know.  You cannot love and cherish others and the Universe without first grokking yourself.

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